About once a month, I try and find some time to sit down and reflect on my experiences so far. About the 11th of the month I tell myself I need to sit down soon and usually about the 17th -20th I actually do. And this month is the same. My life has changed so much since the day I left America over six months ago now. I’ve faced challenges I never thought I would be able to face alone, and in a different language and I’ve learned that we are all the same in our differences. After changing families I thought everything would just be instantly better. And it’s not. But it is better. I felt so out of place with my old family that I made my own friends and was getting along really pretty well in Italian when I finally moved and suddenly I was in a totally different family that was so much better. It just seemed to perfect to be true and really it wasn’t because they are so amazing and I love them. But because I feel at home and I can go out with my sister, I‘m slower at making friends this time around. And when I’m not with my host sister I do well at making friends but for some reason it is so much harder to force myself to get out there when she is with me. But I’m working on it, and I WILL get better. But it’s true what they say, “the grass is always greener on the other side.” When I was in my old family I just kept wishing I could have a great family and now that I have one I just keep wishing I could make friends easier. But I have always liked a good challenge and I couldn’t do anything about the family problem. This is in my control. It’s slow, but I plan on getting there.
And the grass is always green on the other side applies in another way too. America vs. Italy. This was an interesting month regarding this because it seems so sudden. I realized just how extreme everything and everyone in my American life has changed and I want to be there with my friends and family as they work through things and honestly, I just miss them a lot. But then my ticket arrived in my email telling me exactly when I will be back in the United States and I was both scared and thrilled. I miss everyone so much and everything and I want to have it all back but on the other hand there is so much more I have to do here and will miss from here. Umm…hello, there is NUTELLA here…. But jokes aside, I don’t feel like I’m ready to be done. My Italian is faltering and I’m falling behind and if I don’t feel fluent, or a good bit more by the time I leave, I would feel like I failed to an extent. I’m doing better in written Italian because I’m doing a good bit more writing as my Italian teacher is pushing me in a better method. In my old school the Italian teacher was my old host mom and she asked me to do the work the others were doing and often I just couldn’t and the one assignment that she returned to me to look at was over a month after I had turned it in. So I never knew my mistakes. But my new teacher gives me simpler work but still stuff that works my brain and serious Italian work, just not directly texts roughly equivalent to Shakespeare’s works that the other students are doing, but more summaries and analyses done by others about the works. And they are checked that day and fixed grammatically and then I rewrite it correctly. So I’m making improvements but I’m still not very good at speaking or writing even though I can read pretty well and understand if I focus. I don’t really get every word and don’t always get every sentence and there are often words I have no clue about but I understand the concept. But besides the language and Nutella, there are so many things about Italians that I will truly miss. Their school is so hard and they are forced to study more to actually pass than Americans but more than that, it’s heavier (I guess…) than American school and yet it’s also crazier. American school is built with a lot a fun in it such as electives but Italian school is built for education and nothing more. And somehow it is wilder and crazier. Just yesterday I was in a different class than I’m normally in for two hours without a teacher because the teacher was out taking care of her dad and in Italian school when there is no teacher class is just canceled. Well it started with the boys stealing a new roll of toilet paper and taping it up and then using it as a soccer ball in the back of the classroom. Then it led to twenty of us in a bathroom stall (mostly girls but a few guys) and having the few remaining members of the class on the balcony outside of the bathroom window taking pics of us. Haha. When all decided to sneak back into our class room, you should have seen the look on the girls face who was waiting to go potty as 20 of us were leaving the small bathroom. Haha. Crazy moments like this would not be ok in American school. We are given more free space and crazy moments but when it’s time to buck down and work or when the teacher is speaking we are usually somewhat quite. I don’t think I have ever known my class to be quite, even during a test, and few even attempt to listen when the teacher speaks. I’m not necessarily a fan of this, but I will miss the freedom allowed. So I’m thrilled that soon I will be back home with my family and friends in my room in my bed but I don’t want to leave. Does that make any sense?
One great thing about Italy is Carneval. Basically the way cool version of a super happy Halloween. The night before there was a small parade that was cute and then the day of Fat Tuesday we all dressed up in various costumes and had a big party that was way fun. I really enjoyed it and spent a lot of time with mew friends just being silly. I dressed up as a “Mexican” as I brought a Mexican dress with me but I didn’t have time to find ribbons for my hair. And then the week after that I got the pleasure of going to ROME! That city is so pretty; I really loved it. But we only stayed for one night and left the next afternoon. But that night was fantastic. We got off the subway and were immediately approached by two ladies trying to find the Trevi Fountain. Well these women were Irish and very lost but lucky for them I speak English and that’s exactly where my family was taking me. So I got to speak so English. And then we went to see the Spanish steps, but more specifically the shopping around them. For those who weren’t aware, in the street directly across from the steps there are many stores such a Gucci. Lets just say the price tag was a little higher than I was willing to pay. My host mother however bought my host sister a $700.00 (or so) bag. *Please note my jaw dropping.* I told my sister afterwards that if spent that much on a bag, when I told my parents it would either be my last words or it would be the last words they would hear because they would die of shock. All the same, I enjoyed Rome and I hope I will get to go back. (This is the part of the blog where someone breaks out into the popular song with the theme “Rome is you want to, Rome around the world.” After the Spanish steps we took a quick peek at the “Piazza di Venezia” before climbing into a cab and going to dinner. And like all good Italians, we had Pizza. That’s another thing about Italy. When you ordered a full sized pizza in America it’s basically a given you are going to share but in Italy it’s a given that that pizza is only for you. I can’t even tell you haw much pizza I have eaten. At least it’s healthier than American Pizza… But I am now actually working on my weight. This is now the third week in a row that I have been dieting and going to the gym at least 3 times a week. I will lose all the weight I gained here for sure! Per forza!!! I hope.
Now that I’m in a bigger town and a bigger area and I have a sister that takes me places, I’m busier a great deal more of the time. And I am studying harder too. But in a different way. The more my old host mom yelled at me to study harder because I was failing the more I hated studying and didn’t study well. But here I’m given more freedom and so I’m focusing on certain materials more and doing much, much better. Just yesterday we took a math test and my math teacher isn’t exactly the best. Usually on her tests half of the questions are wrong and the other half have the wrong answers at the end. So you just have to work through what you can and hope for the best, as Italian grades are subjective. Even if you perfectly answer every question on a test the teacher can still give you a 7 even if you earned a 9. Well on the math test yesterday I managed to solve every single problem correctly on my test and only on one was there any problem, as she forgot the negative sign, but she admitted this when I asked her. And then in my spare time I helped the girl next to me. Now I know every teacher reading this isn’t a fan of this, but it’s just the way Italian schools are that I have been to and from what I understand from other exchange students. It’s just an accepted fact that there will be cheating on every test by everyone. And I do mean everyone. Some teachers are more severe than others but the most that they will do is take away the paper someone is copying off. So I helped the girl next to me and I explained to her and solved about half of her questions before the 2 hours were up. Most people couldn’t even solve half of their own tests. This is a very sharp contrast from my old school when I was considered the worst in the class ad was even assigned a tutor to help me. Thing are turning around everywhere I look and soon it will all be gone when I head back stateside.
I’ve been thinking a lot about whether or not I would ever want to do another exchange and I’m still not sure. Ok, let me rephrase that, I would definitely want to do another one, I’m just not sure if I WOULD do another one. I would love to be in a foreign county and learn all the people as more than just a tourist but I just don’t know I can leave everything behind for a year, or maybe longer again. Like I love it and all but I miss everyone. And then I wonder about where I would go and there are so many choices. At times I’m drawn to the rich cultures of South America and at other times to the unique area of Scandinavia, and then at times to out of this world places like Thailand, and lately I’ve been drawn to Ireland (but that might be because of St. Patrick’s Day). I used to think that going abroad to another country that spoke English would be a waste and I still kinda do, but I also would like to really get know them better. I’m not sure right now, but it’s definitely something I’m considering.
