Mid December to Mid January

This was a major month of changes for me and my year, but I’ll talk about all that later. I want to first direct my attention to the cultural aspects of this time period (the end of December and early January) in respects to America.

In America school is released at the end of the week before Christmas regardless of what day of the week Christmas is. In Italy, there is school until the 22nd and begins again on the 7th of January because there is another holiday on the 6th.

As I neared the holidays I asked many people to explain Christmas to me and it seemed to me that they were mostly the same between America and Italy. But they really weren’t. On Christmas Eve I went down to my aunt’s house for a big family dinner but started with a prayer on the floor near the fire. Then, after dinner, most go to mass in which they reenact the Nativity Scene. Only my host mother went to that but when she returned at Midnight we started to open presents. From my host mom was a jacket that I actually told her I didn’t want but I think she bought it because it was more water proof than my current one, but less effective. All the same. Then my sisters gave my mother a blanket and that seemed to be it. I went to bed after that because I was missing my family and I just wanted to sleep.

Christmas morning certainly didn’t feel like Christmas morning. Even though they sometimes do Santa Claus, in my family everyone was too old, but even if we had done it, it would have been very different. There aren’t kids waking up just before the crack of dawn and running to see what Santa brought before going to yank their parents out of bed to open presents. In fact, I slept until 11 and the tree was rather lacking in presents compared to a typical American Christmas. From my two sisters I received a bowl for example, like we eat cereal out of, and another American friend of mine received socks. Presents aren’t the important part here and while I do believe Americans are a little obsessed with presents, I found out this Christmas why. I don’t care how much someone spent of a present, yes, it has some effect but the present is more important to me for the why. Why did you buy THIS gift for ME? What about it made you think of me? For example at my Sweet 16 I had a friend who gave me a beaded lion. I’d seen that lion in the store and I know what it’s worth, but I couldn’t care less. It has a spot on my shelves because in her card she said she bought it because she thinks I’m strong and proud like a lion. I realized all this when I received my bowl and I sat there thinking why they bought it for me. And then the rest of Christmas is spent going to various relatives’ houses and eating more than you could believe. And while most people stay with family, it is not considered odd to not spend Christmas with family but to go to visit friends or go on some sort of vacation instead of being home even for high schoolers.

Italians also don’t have quiet the spirit as Americans do regarding Christmas. There was a tree in my house and almost nothing else. No special silverware, or napkins, or little decorations in every part of the house. In fact, there isn’t even much Christmas music, but rather they just listen to American music for Christmas, such as Jingle Bells and whatnot. The only really unique thing is the Panatone. It’s a typical desert that is a very sweet and bread-like. And they eat a lot of it! Every day before and usually for weeks after as if is often given as a Christmas present.

If you will check your calendar, you will know the next holiday was New Years. While Christmas seemed lacking to me, New Years was huge! Everyone asks what you are doing for New Years and what you did after. In America we might go to a party, but not much more and it won’t last much after midnight. In Italy at midnight everyone goes crazy and sets off fireworks and THEN they go and after return very late, like 4 or later. It’s a wild and crazy party that raves all across Italy in the wildest manner possible. The next time I watched the new, they were still cleaning up streets and streets of trash.

The final holiday is that of the Befana. In America we mix Christmas and this holiday into one with Santa Claus. In Italy, Santa only brings presents and the rest of the story is for the Befana. The Befana is an ugly old hag and you hang clean socks over the fireplace and if you are good she brings little presents on her broom but if you are bad you get coal in your sock. Sound familiar? And this holiday is on January 6th.

So those are the three major holidays of the period, and now I will talk more about what happened to me.

Last month I mentioned that I was having frustrations with my host family and those just grew this month. My host mom was always frustrated with me for things that I didn’t understand why, like me sleeping in late during the holidays when weren’t doing anything, or for many other small things. And I just wasn’t happy. It wasn’t just that, but Alessia and me never really got along and I just didn’t feel at home in that house. I could point fingers, but that would be petty because no one person was at fault, and I made some mistakes too. Well Christmas day was really hard for me, as it is for every exchange student that is from a family that celebrates Christmas, and AFS even warned us at the orientation it would be hard. It really was very hard. And it was worse for me than most and when I slipped and fell down in the rain outside on the way to the car, it didn’t hurt, but I just started to cry and couldn’t stop for a long time. In fact, the best way to get through it was to tell myself that this WASN’T Christmas. When I called my family in America, they saw how sad I was and begged me to go home. I wanted horribly to go home for Christmas. But I also wanted to come right back to Italy. Because I wasn’t ready for my year to be over.

Then over New Years, I went to visit an American friend from Boston in the Lecce area this year. And I got along amazing with her family. I was so jealous of her. She often goes out with her sister and sister jokes with her and plays with her and is really friends with her, unlike I’d known. And just everything along those lines. I felt very at home there and after even one day I felt more like a part of the family and didn’t even feel weird being with them when Emily wasn’t with us. And on New Years, I got a nasty case of the stomach flu and they took wonderful care of me. And then when I talked to them about how I felt back at my home, they said that was wrong and honestly encouraged me to change families. And then I got on the train and rode back and was horribly sad to be back, and that just wasn’t right, so I decided to move.

Why I choose to leave the area is a long story but mostly it has to do with the awkwardness of my host mother being my teacher at school still and the area was very small. So I requested to be moved to a new part of Italy that was bigger and had more for me to do. This decision was very hard because my class is honestly incredible and I love them so much that the idea of leaving them was killer to me and I didn’t want to do it, but not seeing them over break made me realize just how unhappy I was and how I had to move rather than pretend to be ok just because I like them so much.

I wasn’t able to move before school started again and I spent two weeks there though I didn’t do a whole lot of studying. The first Saturday I ended up having a math test and I didn’t know about it until the day before and even still I barely studied and I did better than ever before. And then later in the week I had a Chem test that no one told me about until we were moving desks but I actually did good on that one too, I was just lucky it was in Chem.

All the while, my American family and I were fighting hard to get me moved fast because I felt any warmth towards me was close after they found out I was moving. And one night it seemed to me that my host mom kicked me out by what she said, but my AFS assistant was there and they talked a lot and my assistant was said she was just so sad. I don’t know what really happened but it because decided that I would leave on the 17th for a new family about 3 hours away in a small city called Venosa that had requested an American for 6 months before they even knew about me. It was perfect because on the 16th was a huge party for one of my classmates 18th birthday party and so everyone in my class would be there to say goodbye.

My last day there was a truly horrible. Even though I knew saying goodbye would be sad, I wanted it to be a happy day for as long as possible. Well I walked into a math interrogation (or oral math test) that I didn’t expect and did horrible on. But I decided to still make the best of my day and smiled and joked and played. And then as fate would have it, my last class there was Italian with my host mom. And instead of spending the hour teaching, she talked about all the problems she has with me and all the “horrible” things I do to the entire class and all I could do was sit there and listen in horror. I was only ever really happy at school and that would be my last memory. When she was done after a good half hour I was almost in tears when the girl next to me wrote me a note saying that at least now I was leaving and that I would be better. I didn’t really pay much more attention, but I caught at least once more when she brought me up in her “lesson.” As I walked out with friends, when they were out of earshot they all said she was WAY out of line and even though they was sad to see me leave, it was clearly for the better. They were even saying it amongst themselves, so I know that they didn’t believe her, but still it hurt horribly. And when I got on the school bus, I called Emily and said some words I’m not proud of I was so upset.

And then I said goodbye to my friends getting off the bus with the promise to see them later that night before going upstairs and eating lunch with the “family” but I could only stay in there for so ling I was so angry with her. I was in my room on the Internet when I got a call fro AFS that said instead of leaving the next day, I had to leave THAT night BEFORE the party and I couldn’t even say goodbye because I had to pack and most of them didn’t even live in the same town. That meant that their last memory of me would be all the things that my host mother said! I cried for a very long time while I packed.

My new host dad picked up about 6 and we loaded my stuff, I said goodbye, and we drove off. We talked a good but in Italian first and then I used my computer for a while and then I went to sleep because I was feeling motion sick.

But after the painful drive, my day got better. I was still sad, but I could tell right away that this family would be better. It’s just one of those feelings you get. When you are with the right type of people. That night my new sister and I went to a party somewhat like I was supposed to have gone to and I had fun enough, no matter how much I missed my party. Then on Sunday we went to the grandparents for lunch in which my new father having learned, “Good morning” and “Grandparents” in English put his new ability to work and said good morning grandparents to each of them. After lunch, we came back home for a while during which my new studied and then I went out with her for a SECOND time to snacks with a friend and then a movie. Already I have done more with here than with Alessia. And now I have started a new school and I’m making new friends, but I still miss my class.

About my new family: There is a mother, father, my new sister who is my age, and a little brother who is 13. My new father is a man who works with horses and my family has many. My new mother is a magistrate and has somewhat flexible hours but is very devoted to her work. She is so warm and wonderful and likes to try her knowledge of English with me in small phrases. And she has an obsession with cleanliness. If there are shoes on in the house, we have to walk about with little pads under our shoes and if not we must have either socks or slippers on for an example. It’s going to take effort on my part, but I will do it because I really like this family. My new sister is named Morgana and she is very pretty and smart, and loved horses and we get along really well. I really feel like she wants me in the house and family and she makes every attempt to make me happy. While I travel classes a little, I’m usually in her class and with her friends and I’m very happy with her. And then my little brother is cute and funny, but we haven’t talked much because his family wants him to try in English and he is afraid. But we'll fix that soon and besides, it's more important that i speak in Italian anyways. =)

(Once again this is unedited)